Wufei Gets Braces!
by aleey
Summary: Wufei gets a call that he is in need of immediate dental care! Everyone is having a grand ole time with tormenting him, until he begs Duo to teach him his 'baka-like' ways.


Masqued: ...This is a bit of hilarium that I wrote some years ago. I had posted it, but realized my errors in it while dusting through all of my fan fics. So, here's the tweaked version of it. Hope it's enjoyable. Just a small warning, though, this is very stereotypically exaggerated. I'm almost disappointed in my juvenile mind from said few years ago.  
  
Disclaimer: ...

* * *

Title: Wufei Gets Braces!  
  
Rating: G  
  
Summary: Wufei gets a call that he is in need of immediate dental care! Everyone is having a grand ole time with tormenting him, until he begs Duo to teach him his 'baka-like' ways.

* * *

It was a reasonably average day in the Winner Manor. Wufei had allowed himself to chase Duo around the mansion to entertain himself and torment the braided pilot; Relena had angrily locked herself in her room once she'd been informed that Heero wasn't going to be back for awhile due to his mission; Trowa and Quatre enjoyed themselves by settling into easy chairs with books; Dorothy was simply lazying about; Cathering was with the circus still, Hilde was at work, as well as Sally. And this is where our twisted tale begins.  
  
The silence that had settled in the house was eerily intolerable, and Trowa gladly welcomed the telephone as it rang from the kitchen. Placing his bookmark into his current page, the brunette swung his legs off of the easy chair and stood to his feet. The phone continued to ring as he stretched, then jogged to the room it occupied directly across the hall from him. Reaching out his arm quickly, he pulled the phone from the hook and placed it to his ear.  
  
"Hello?" he asked.   
  
"Uh, hello, yes, is a Mr. Chang Wufei available?" came a female voice through the receiver.  
  
"Yes, one moment," he slowly replied, eyebrows furrowing in confusion to why a calm woman other then Sally was calling and asking for Wufei. Shrugging his shoulders, he placed his hand over the phone and leaned his head into the room he'd been in previously, glancing to the interested blond that sat in an nearby easy chair.   
  
"Quatre, would you mind getting Wufei, please?" Quatre gave a similar expression to the one Trowa had on his face in the taller males direction, but nodded his head.  
  
"Wufei, telephone!" A long growl was heard in response, then the Chinese pilot thundered down the steps to the room Quatre was in.  
  
Glancing to his fellow pilots, he looked to Trowa and quickly walked to his side. Carefully, Trowa passed the phone to Wufei, who gingerly placed it to his ear.  
  
"Wufei here," he spoke into the phone, rolling his eyes impatiently.  
  
"Ah, yes, Mr. Chang? This is Harrison's Dental Practice - you've neglected getting braces for the passed two years? We've taken the liberty of scheduling you an appointment for tomorrow morning around 10:30," came the informative reply. Wufei's jaw dropped as he attempted to form words within his mouth.  
  
"I - you mean - since when - No!" suddenly he yelled angrily. "No, I will not allow myself to be placed beneath such a demoralizing thing that, to make the matter worse, is practiced by a baka such as Maxwell!"   
  
"I'm sorry Sir, I don't know any Maxwell, but if you don't get braces on your teeth, it may be permanently awkward," came the steady response. This receptionist knew what she was doing.  
  
"...Fine," somehow, Wufei was drawn into doing it. "I'll be there." Without so much as a goodbye, Wufei hung the phone onto the receiver and turned to exit the kitchen, only to be met with a wide-eyed, cheery-faced brunette.  
  
"Hey there Wu-man! Who was that, you're gerlfriend?" Duo emphasized the word girlfriend dramatically, and swooned slightly to add visible effects. Angrily, Wufei growled, tightly clenching his fists at his sides, a vein bulging in his forehead.  
  
"Maxwell..." he growled, tightly clenching his eyelids; "I'll give you three seconds..."  
  
"Aww, did wittle Wu-man get dumped?" That was it. Wufei growled angrily and his eyelids flipped open.   
  
"Run - now!" Masqued angrily screamed. The comment was a warning to Duo, who obviously took little heed to it.   
  
"I won't pay attention to any stupid authoress!" Duo chirped happily. Masqued slapped her forehead, then ran her fingers down her face as she fell back into her chair.  
  
"...Oh well," she muttered, letting out a gentle sigh and then turned to watch Wufei react.  
  
"..Who are you talking to, baka?!" Wufei growled, hand gripping at the edge of his katana. Duo's small happy dance ceased as he blinked confusedly at Wufei.  
  
"You didn't just hear the author?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Masqued slapped her forehead again.  
  
"Duo, I'm your conscience. Run." Masqued warned one last time, yet again to no avail. Duo grinned obnoxiously and stuck his tongue out at the ceiling. Somehow, this irritated Wufei beyond belief.  
  
"Don't talk to yourself, Baka!" he growled and unsheathed his katana from his hip, eyes glowing with the need for vengeance.  
  
"...Uh-oh." Duo's eyes shrunk as his lips curled downward in a pout. In what he hoped to be lightning speed, Duo sped from Wufei's grasp, being quickly followed by the angered Chinese pilot.

* * *

"Guys.. I think something's wrong with Wufei. Really, really wrong," stated a slightly quivering Duo as he fiddled with the beanie on his head and crouched on the couch.  
  
"Why do you say that?" Trowa asked, turning his attention from his book to Duo.  
  
"...He actually cut off my braid." Duo slowly pulled the beanie off his head and modeled his hairless scalp. Quatre gasped and curiously ran his fingers over the smooth surface.  
  
"That's a very smooth cut.." Quatre muttered, then stopped when he received a reasonable death glare from Duo; "I mean, something must really be wrong with him. What could have caused this?"  
  
"I don't know, but I guess one of us should find out," suggested Trowa.  
  
"No-oo-oot me!" Duo quivered again, grabbing his legs into his arms.  
  
Silence settled.  
  
"Fine, I'll go..." Trowa muttered and dropped his book onto his seat. Duo sighed as he watched Trowa walk across the room and up the steps.  
  
Upon reaching Wufei's bedroom door, Trowa touched the doorknob and gently pushed the door so it was only open a crack. If Wufei was doing something important, he wouldn't want to intrude.  
  
"...I-I love you, yo-you love me, we-we're a ha-ha-happy f-f-family.." Trowa frightenedly swallowed down his saliva as he watched Wufei sit in front of his glowing TV, the round purple dinosaur dancing about singing happily. Sadly enough, the Chinese pilot was singing along.  
  
"...w-with a gr-great big h-h-hug.. and a k-kiss from me to you..." An uncontrollable 'meep' sound emitted Trowa's lips as his eyes glazed over in fear. Wufei's singing ceased and his head snapped around.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he growled, teeth tightly clenched.  
  
"I came to check on you.. see why you shaved off Duo's hair.. but if you want to be alone--" Wufei cut him off.  
  
"No, don't leave me! I... I need someone with me right now..." the previously angry eyes melted into sadness with his expression. Trowa cautiously stepped into the room, keeping the door slightly ajar.  
  
"I.. need to get.. braces.." Trowa jumped back as Wufei began to desperately sob in front of him. Quivering in fear, Trowa felt the only thing reassuring behind him - the wall.   
  
"Wufei.." Trowa attempted to calm his nervous voice; "Wufei, Duo has braces." For some unknown reason to Trowa, this caused Wufei to sob even harder. The Chinese pilot edged his way to his comrad, forcefully grasping the boys legs, causing the taller to fall.  
  
"I know he does! That's what is so shameful!" the Chinese pilot sobbed, ramming his face into Trowa's chest.  
  
"I can see you're... distressed," came the reply and the taller male pulled himself from his comrad's embrace. "I'll.. leave you to yourself."   
  
Quickly, Trowa exited the room and shut the door behind him. Not giving a second glance to the room he'd exited, he hurriedly ran down the steps and into the room everyone else was currently occupying.  
  
"So, what's wrong with him?" Quatre asked, turning his attention to the still bewildered Trowa.  
  
"Well, besides the unbelievable fact that he is a very closeted Barney fan, our friend Wufei is getting braces."   
  
Silence settled.   
  
Then, hilarity ensued. Duo fell off the couch, laughing uncontrollably, arms tightly grasping his waist. Between the fits of laughter, one could hear him moan from the pain the laughter caused. Quatre looked at the now hairless pilot with his best attempted deathglare, but received very little response - except more laughter.  
  
"Duo - Duo stop. We need to be supportive." Duo slowly ceased in his laughter as he saw Dorothy and Relena approaching them.  
  
"What's so funny?" The two asked, obviously curious.  
  
"Oh, nothing." Duo snickered; "Except that Wufei's a closeted Barney fan and needs to get braces." Both females raised their eyebrows confusedly as Duo rolled again, laughing hysterically. Why it was so funny, no one was able to understand.  
  
The sound of someone attempting to slide down a railing and land safely was heard, but the sound of someone's backside reaching the floor instead of their feet was what followed.  
  
"...Ouch. I'll need to, uh, practice that." Wufei soon emerged from the cooridoor, eyes lowered in shame. Duo continued his laughter as he watched the Chinese pilot slowly weave his way around the obstacles of chairs to reach him.   
  
Duo slowly composed himself and pulled himself back on the couch, eyes following the approaching pilot.   
  
Wufei reached Duo, and then decidedly and determinedly knelt down to one knee.  
  
"Duo..." silence crept over the bunch as they watched in awe, anticipation, and in Duo's case fright...   
  
"I need to ask you something..." Duo could feel the blood drain from his face. What was this? Where was this coming from? Who had abducted his comrad and done something... most likely illegal and unbelievable to him?  
  
"Y-yes...?" Duo's voice cracked with each letter as he spoke.  
  
"Will you... will you teach me your idiotic ways? Take me beneath your wing? Allow me to pledge my soul devotion to you?" Wufei clasped his hands in front of his face and stared with glazed eyes at Duo.   
  
Without falling over in relief, Duo numbly nodded his head. This was going to be an odd experience.

* * *

Masqued: ... Whoa. That turned out really weird in it's editing. I guess I could make this two chapters, since I'm so tired right now... I hope this is.. better then the original. nn Night! 


End file.
